When you hear the kind of life orientation and mentality of some people you will be dumbfounded. You begin to ask yourself what kind of blood is flowing in such person’s body. No doubt, we are living in a patriarchal society…some times when I remember my experience from whence the title of this post came from I am left dumbfounded and shrugging my shoulder in WONDER.
It was during the Christmas season in 2020; I went to a meeting—that meeting is a contribution meeting where they share foodstuffs at the end of the year. But I am not a member of the meeting. I went there to represent my brother as he was not around. There in the meeting, there is this pandemonium which can be either a good one or bad one. In such gatherings altercations are not left out. I actually minded my own business and acted as a spectator; they shared palm wine (known as Ozuu) in my native language. I love palm wine because it is natural and nourishing!
As we were enjoying the palm wine; a lady walked into the compound to fetch water—and then came a murmuring and uproar…one man sitting opposite me gave the lady a nasty look and hissed with anger. “Women of nowadays are nothing to write home about…how can a woman be wearing that kind of dress….”? The young lady was wearing a tight trouser showing the shape of her body and skin. I am sure she did not know they were talking about her. Some of the men in the meeting were laughing while others were joined in the scolding.
The man who began talking about the lady took it very personal because he was very angry. “Don’t be surprised that this lady is married and she is dressing like this…” he said with resentment. “That is why I have said that my wife must die before me. She must die before me.” He affirmed emphatically and passionately. One man among them asked him his reason for saying such statement and he answered: “If I die before my wife she will have the privilege to start dressing the way she likes; another man will take her and start having relationship with her. Even in my grave I will not be happy with her and I will seek revenge. So she must die before me that is the only way there will be peace…”
“So you do not want your wife to have a companion if you are dead. Besides, don’t you think two of you will grow old together and by that time you must have finished training your children and it will be just the two of you? Or is it not your wish for the two of you to grow old together”? Another man told him. “Men often die before their wives because of the struggles and suffering men pass through in order to provide for their wife and children. So if I die before my wife another man will come and take and start enjoying what I have labored for. That cannot happen! She must die before me! From his countenance one could tell easily that he is a vindictive and malicious person—the territorial and jealous partners!
I could not believe my ears and eyes when I heard him say these. In my mind, I was like: now the poor wife is at home innocent; maybe she is hurrying to prepare meal for her beloved husband and the so-called beloved husband is outside planning evil ahead of her! Too bad! In my own opinion and full transparency; I do not think this man is a good man. He does not love the wife—otherwise why would he have such plans.
On the other hand do you think a wife would say such or wish such for her husband?
I am an Emissary of Light and an intrepid adventurer. A growth enthusiast and a quintessential person who is very passionate about the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals, inclusivity, equity, holistic living, mental health, diversity, altruism, sacred activism, service to humanity, gastronomy and compassion. I volunteer with organizations that are focused on youth, education/cultural exchange and climate change awareness. I currently volunteer with Stride Quintessential Youth Initiative (www.weartqp.org) an organization focused on raising the next generation change makers and quintessential African youths. I also volunteer as an English teacher with a Ukrainian organization ENGin Program; an organization promoting education, cultural exchange, peace, respect and compassion (https://www.enginprogram.org/). On my creative aspect I am a heart-based, talented, outstanding, prolific writer. I have published 8 books and currently working on my 9th book. I published several articles in a UK magazine, Canadian and American blog. As a creative person, I am also passionate about media and ICT. I am a graduate of Political Science/Social Studies from College of Education, Agbor Delta State in Nigeria. I did a diploma program on Agricultural Supply Chain Management from Acacia University, Arizona United States (through Athena Global Education) and another diploma program on Business Administration (through Athena Global Education).
Writing has always been a natural way of life for me. I also love meeting like-minded people, spending time in Nature. I am a promoter of anything which promotes Positive Vibes and Positive Energies. Anything that sets the tone for a Positive Life Momentum is my Hobby. I also believe in Compassion. Before I began my journey into Spiritual Awakening and Spirituality; I was a former baptized, zealous and dedicated Jehovah’s Witness. Somewhere deep down in my heart and subconscious mind I had this inner-knowing and feeling that religion is NOT the answer. At least I have the understanding that there is more than meet the eyes…it was not easy to leave a religion that claims to be better than every other ones; but with my determination to embrace my Higher Self, my Magical Divine Self—I summoned up courage and left Jehovah’s Witness in 2013. I could not have made a better choice! The effort and determination was worth it. You can read more about my journey of how I left religion and Jehovah’s Witness.
I am determined to use my blog to raise the Consciousness of Humanity to a Higher Dimension. I believes that I can use my writings to inspire, heal, empower, liberate, teach and enlighten Humanity into embracing Higher Consciousness. My vision is for a society where truth, justice, love, compassion and unity dwells. He strongly believes that people should be treated fairly and equally no matter their skin colour, gender, culture and sexual orientation. As one who is on the path of Personal Development, New Thought, Spirituality, Enlightenment and Inspiration; Kingsley believes that he can use his writings to inspire, heal, empower, liberate, teach and enlighten Humanity into embracing Higher Consciousness. I believe in compassion; compassion for one’s self and compassion for others as epitomized by Guan Yin the Goddess of Compassion. Eastern Spirituality and Spirituality in its entirety have always appealed to me. I follow the teachings and wisdom of Guan Yin, Buddha, Jesus Christs, His Holiness (the 14th Dalai Lama), Lazaris, Galexis, Sirian High Council and the Angelic Beings who works in the Greater Realms of Light and Love.
Other personalities that have been very influential to me are: Master Sri Akarshana, Sadhguru, Shelley Rogers Johnson (AKA Good Witch), Mooji, Confucius, Lao Tzu, Mother Theresa, Robert Kiyosaki, Morihei Ueshiba, Sarah Prout, Ikkyu, Oprah Winfrey, Buddha, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Florence Scovel Shinn, Norman Vincent Peale, Tony Robbins, Marianne Williamson, Eckhart Tolle, Max Erhman, Debbianne DeRose, Nathalie Thompson, Jeannette Maw, Erin Dragonsong, Melody Fletcher, Andy Dooley, Mike Dooley, Bob Marley, Anais Nin, Albert Einstein, Tess Whitehurst, Katherine Hurst, George King, Whitney Houston, Brenda Fassie, Nelson Mandela, Mary McKee, Guru Nanak, Dildar Virk, Enya, Mariah Carey, Jam Aiwuyor, Cynthia Morgan and Anja Ringgren Loven. I have been featured twice in an award-winning TV Station in Abuja where I talked about the issues affecting Nigeria and Africa I was also featured in an American blog where I shared my opinion about the Black Lives Matter. I am of the thought that we create our own reality and we can change the Narrative of our Reality and Lives. So feel free to surf my blog. Let’s labrish!
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2 thoughts on ““She MUST DIE Before Me”!”
Truth is, if the woman were to die first, the most it would take that man to remarry is probably a year. Is he not also another woman’s labour as he’s claimed? This thinking is just screwed abeg 🙄
You are totally right. A year is even too long! I agree with you. Such a lope-sided inhuman thinking. A mentality born out of lower consciousness, (negative) ego and narrowmindedness
Kingsley Osajie 
Truth is, if the woman were to die first, the most it would take that man to remarry is probably a year. Is he not also another woman’s labour as he’s claimed? This thinking is just screwed abeg 🙄
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You are totally right. A year is even too long! I agree with you. Such a lope-sided inhuman thinking. A mentality born out of lower consciousness, (negative) ego and narrowmindedness
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