What is Wrong with Sexual Orientation and LGBT?

Bolu Okupe: Twitter)

Sex is an integral part of human existence. Sexual activity is not tied to a specific gender. It is multi-faceted. Sex is in our chakras. What are chakras? Chakras are our energetic bodies invisible to the human eyes. The sex chakra is the second in the human energetic body located in the genital area and is also called Sacral Chakra.

(Chakra Illustration: Google Images)

Sexuality: Your state of belonging to a particular gender. When I say belong I mean belonging by way of romantic attraction to either same-sex or both sexes.

Sexual Orientation: When you are drawn to a particular gender by way of having the innate desire and feeling of romantic and sexual attraction to same-sex, opposite sex or both sexes.

Over the years there has been a GREAT animosity towards the LGBT and people whose sexual orientation does not “harmonize” with the society. Now the question is what is wrong with sexual orientation? Why is there animosity on the LGBT people?  

I was in college when the Nigerian government passed a bill against LGBT in Nigeria. That was in 2014. When I heard the news on the radio I was like “excuse me, that bill is nonsense. The last time I checked the LGBT does NO harm to any one or the society. In fact, Mother Earth, Universe, Angels and even God are not angry with the LGBT people. Keep in mind that among the top government officials in Nigeria and the elites who made the anti-LGBT laws exist people among them who are part of the LGBT. Most of them their children who are part of the LGBT are living abroad; for example Bolu Okupe. Who is deceiving who?

Unfortunately, Nigeria has a very high rate or homophobia!! When two guys hugs together warmly they are frowned at, when two guys close together genially they are frowned at and “conclusions” will be made… For example, when I was in college; one day we finished lecture and we walked out of the lecture hall. As I was walking, a course mate walked up to me and said,

“Hey Kingsley, how far”? (We were speaking Pidgin English. In Nigeria “how far” is a term use to mean how are you). We had a warm and genial handshake and flicked our fingers as it is normal among guys. So this course mate threw his hand on my shoulder and we were just talking and walking. We walked to a packed car and his hand was still on my shoulders talking to me. I cannot remember what he was telling me but the only thing I can remember was that I was smiling to his conversation… (Lols). Another guy who is also our course mate just walked up to us and he was like

“Get your hands off his shoulders!! This is too gayish”!!

I was surprised to hear him say that and I responded: “Is anything wrong with him putting his hand on my shoulders”?

He answered me by saying, how can he put his hand on your shoulders and your bodies are so close together.” He said this sarcastically and with meanness. He did not even stop there; he literally removed the guy’s hand from my shoulders. I was not angry; I just looked at him and laughed at him. Both of us just laughed at the other guy.   

(Though it is not me in the picture. This is a depiction that two boys can be in an amorous position or en amour. It applies to girls too)
Two girls in Love is not a Crime

Recently a UK agency shut down the YouTube channel of a famous Nigerian pastor TB Joshua. Why? TB Joshua in his YouTube video sermon was seen claiming to “cure” people of LGBT. Now he is appealing to the UK agency to have his YouTube channel reopened.

The Nigerian Pastor whose YouTube Channel was shutdown

The question to ask TB Joshua is, is he aware that there are also pastors and “men of God” who are part of the LGBT? Why doesn’t he start the “cure” with the clergies who are part of the LGBT?

What I tell people is, if the animosity towards the LGBT people was channeled towards racism the world would have been a better place. It is so gut-wrenching to know that the stigma, animosity and ostracism of the LGBT and a person because of his or her sexual orientation are WORSE than a person who has a communicable disease. There is something people do not understand. The practice of anything LGBT is as old as humans on earth. Even the Kama Sutra talked about the existence of LGBT practices in ancient times.

Homophobic people use some verse in the Bible to condemn the LGBT. But in that same, Bible we found two men in love with each other. Romantic relationship actually existed between David and Jonathan. But just in case you are wondering; you can read this verses for yourself: I Samuel 20:40-41 and II Samuel 1:26. Actually, I do not really like sounding religious because I am not a religious type. I left church and religion behind years ago. If you are curious to know my reason; then you can read all of that here

In my interview with Good in the Head, I MAINTAINED my intentions and thoughts about the LGBT because I strongly believe that life will never treat you bad because of your sexual orientation. No matter what your sexual orientation is; you are worthy as a human being because your sexual orientation does not reduce you in any way.

I would like to point out facts about being Gay and LGBT; but before I do that let me share this story with you. There is a man living in the same town I live. He is gay and fabulous or gay and popular. His gay boyfriend lives in the same town; the duo has wives and children.

Information came to the wife of one of these guys that her husband was gay. When I heard the response of the woman; I was like: so we have such wise women in Nigeria? It was very unbelievable!! But are we not living in a wonder-full world? When the news got to the woman, the woman answered: “God made him that way. I love him the way he is and I am happy to be married to him; at least I am not going to be worried of another woman snatching my husband from me or sharing my husband with me.” I was like this is unheard of a typical Nigerian woman!!

Facts about being Gay and LGBT

1. Gay men are not sterile

2. Being gay does not mean misogyny. In fact, many gay men have biological children and wives (side note: even if there are also gay men who adopt children as surrogate fathers it does not make them less than human beings)

3. Life does not treat you bad because you are gay or LGBT

4. God loves everyone unconditionally including gay people and the LGBT people

5. Being gay does not limit you. There are many gay people and LGBT people who have made colossal impact and ripple effect in the world

Living in a homophobic environment is another battle ground on its own because you cannot express yourself completely. But I believe you find hope, comfort, and faith to push through any obstacle standing between you and your sexual orientation.

In my next LGBT post I am going to share a MIND-BLOWING and dumbfounding LGBT story with you. Keep on the look out!

Always remember to fortify and empower yourself with these words below:

“I acknowledge and accept my sexuality and give permission to myself to feel all that I feel. I understand that I deserve pleasure in life and I am comfortable with who I am.” Kingsley Osajie

“It matters not who you love, how you love or when you love. But it matters that you love” John Lennon

“Love is all-encompassing, multi-dimensional and not linear. There is NO gender in love.” Kingsley Osajie

“When you let go of the duality of the physical realm; love is what you find. It has always been there and will always be there.” Melanie Becklar



(image: shutterstock.com)

Throughout the history of humanity; there has always been the issue of gender inequality which is always to the detriment of women.  Misogyny has been going on for a very long time and it does not make Earth a better place. Due to culture and because a Bible verse said women are weaker vessels that has given the society and men (not all men though) the chance to use and abuse women. For example, before now in Nigeria; women are not recognized as fit for education. They see women as people who are meant for the kitchen.

Women have always relegated and put at the backburner. I am not a woman but I understand what it means for those women who have been used abused, maltreated and discriminated against because of their gender. It is quite unfortunate. Some people take refuge in that Bible verse that says men are the head of the house and women are the weaker vessel—with this belief in mind; they go ahead and do all sorts of injustices against women. But I am not trying to deny the fact that men are the head of the family. In fact, man was the first creation in humanity. But that should not be a license to encourage misogyny. Do not even get me started with the École Massacre and Marc Lepine!! That was really a TERRIBLE and INHUMAN event!! And in Nigeria we had the issues of kidnapping of Chibok girls by the Boko Haram.

Contrary to the wrong beliefs about women that culture has taught.  Most women have proven themselves as forces to be reckoned with. Women such as: Miriam Makeba (aka Mama Africa), Brenda Fassie (Queen of Africa), Yvonne Chaka Chaka, (aka Princess of Africa) Angelique Kidjo (aka Lioness of Africa), Oprah Winfrey, Onyeka Onwenu, Christy Essien Igbokwe, Queen Amina of Zaria, Queen Sheba of Ethiopia, Agbani Darego, Madonna, Mother Theresa, Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, Ladi Kwali, Malala etc. In some countries women are their president. In every areas of life, women have proven themselves as able and capable.  

(Agbani Darego: the first Black Miss World from Nigeria: Google images)

Let me tell you my experience few days on a bike. I stopped a bike-man (in Nigeria we call bike-man Okada). The bike-man told me that he would carry me for N300 (three hundred naira). I was going on an errand to a nearby town. It was N150 before now but due to the inflation and bad economy; everything has skyrocketed. I was begging the bike-man to carry me for N200 or N250 but he insisted N300. He said he cannot carry only me for N200 that if we were two he could take N250 or N200. In the midst of the bargaining, he saw a girl walking past us; he called the girl if she wanted to take bike. The girl said no.

Then the bike-man decided to carry me with the intention that if he sees any person on the road he will carry the person in addition to me—and then he asked me something that left me dumbfounded: “Would you like me to carry you alongside with a girl”? I was like, “Why do you ask me that”? He told me that sometimes if he wants to carry a girl in his bike and the boy is already sitting on the bike that some boys do not want. They would ask him to carry only them that they do not want being carried alongside a girl. “That is nonsense!! The last time I checked girls are human being. By the way those boys you have had this experience were they not born by a woman? Did they not stay in a woman’s womb for nine months”? I responded. He said he does not understand their reason and I told him that those boys needed rearrangement of their life orientation because they are living in ignorance.

Malala: Human Right Activist from Pakistan: Source Google image)

My joy is that some women who faced this gender discrimination and misogyny was able to change their narrative. For example, the celebrated award-winning Nigerian author Buchi Emecheta was denied the right to education because she was a girl—that she would get married to a man and end up in the kitchen and her brother was sent to school. But because the passion was there, she would hide to school when her father was not around and her mother would cover up for her. Sometimes if she was caught; she would face punishment and scolding from her father. I read this in her book Second Class Citizen—a very wonderful, inspiring, gut-wrenching and epic book.

(Buchi Emecheta: Google images)

The misogyny did not end there; when she later moved to London her husband Francis burnt her script because he had the belief that Buchi was a woman who was meant for the kitchen hence should not and cannot be above him. But Buchi would later divorce Francis and continue her life—becoming an award-winning author!! Thanks to her London friends who helped her with her in bringing her books to reality and encouraging her to write and thanks to London because that was where Buchi’s dream and destiny became a reality. Buchi Emecheta is from my state (Delta State, Nigeria). She is very influential to me; she is among my favorite authors!! We used her book in high school.

Now, I am going to share a story with you; a true life story. This story was told to me by my brother Bright. I could not believe my ears when I heard the story. One day Bright came back from the town. It was a weekend so he said he went to a burial of a man. The story of the man whom Bright attended his burial is what I am sharing with you below.

There was a man who had three children; two girls and a boy. The boy was the eldest. So this man called his wife and told her that he was never going to train any of the two girls in school because women are prostitutes and there is no need to train the girls because they would get married and stop answering his name; plus once the girls got married they would forget about him as they would just focus on their husband and children. He said he was going to train his son; that the son would bear his name and take care of him.

Like something that look like a joke; when the children have grown up this man took his son to a welding shop and registered him as an apprentice to learn welding skills. Then he told his wife that she should go and fend for the girls that he was not going to train them because training the girls was a waste of time and money. So the wife and girls began struggling and suffering; the woman and the girls started farming in the hinterlands. This was how they continued to farm to enable them raise money for their education they were willing to go to school. Plus they are intelligent too.

Eventually, the girls entered college and the boy has already finished his welding apprenticeship. The father helped him establish his own shop with all the required equipment and he began working. The girls were in college; during holidays they would come and help their mother with farm work. This was how they did it till they graduated from college.

After college, the girls got jobs as teachers in government schools. The boy was a welder. By this time, the man has grown old. Then something happened; the boy whom he put all his hope on does not care about him! He does not visit him and when he does; it was just to take what he has from him and dash out of the house. Whether the father was sick or healthy was not his concern. All he knows was to demand and demand.

The man has already grown old so he became sick. Throughout his sickness; the boy never visited nor called. In fact, the boy constituted nuisance for him. It was the girls he abandoned and discriminated that took him to the hospital, bought him drugs and took care of him with their mother. The boy never showed up. Even when they called him that the father was sick; he did not care!!! At last the man died, and it was girl that helped to organize the burial well and put things in order. All the boy was after was to put the father in the grave and take over his properties. You see, things did not work out the way the man expected.

When Bright finished telling me this story I was like, this world is wonder-full. I was so touched by this story so I wanted to share with you. Though I lacked behind a bit in writing this blogpost; I once scheduled it for the mother’s/women’s day. But I could not meet up with that date. The fact remains; both genders are important (male and female). I wish that those men who are misogynistic would change from that behaviour because that is a place of powerlessness and lower consciousness. Let love lead, live and let others live.

For women who have been used, abuse and experience misogyny. We are all equal in the eyes of God. You have the power to take your power back!! And yes, you have the power to change the narrative! You have got this!!



(Niagara Falls: Google images)

Environment affects our destinies, dreams and life; directly and indirectly. The type of environment you are living in has a greater impact on you than your family. Environmental forces are POWERFUL. To the extent your environment is developed that is how far you can go. If your environment is small and uncivilized; it will keep you small and uncivilized. The ONLY antidote is to STEP OUT of an environment which does not help your dreams and life path!

You cannot prosper in an unhelpful environment that is disharmonious to your aspirations, talents, potentials and visions. Manifesting our dreams are very easy when the environment is beautiful. What will make a fruit planted in a fertile soil not flourish? If you plant a tomato in a fertile soil; it will produce well. But plant that same tomato in an unfertile soil and you will see a different result! It will not produce well; it will only struggle and keep struggling for survival. The tomato planted in an unfertile soil ends up fruitless and withered! Many people have found themselves in this reality and it is quite unfortunate and sad!!

The last time I checked, NO ONE made it living in their “comfort zone.” Do you think that Rihanna could have been successful today as a Singer if she was still living in Barbados? Who would have known Nicki Minaj if she remained in Trinidad & Tobago? Brenda Fassie left Langa to Johannesburg and launched a very successful singing career. People like Buche Emecheta, Wole Soyinka and Chinua Achebe achieved a very successful writing career because they moved out of Nigeria. For example it was the London friends of Buchi Emecheta that encouraged and supported Buchi Emecheta to help her become a successful writer. Living in London helped Buchi Emecheta prove her worth as a talented writer. Buchi Emecheta is from Delta State, Nigeria and she is an award-winning author!

How about Chimaamanda Adichie? Though she is talented but her moving out of Nigeria to USA paved the way and made her become a very successful writer and even an award-winning writer!!  You see, these writers never achieved their success when they were living in Nigeria! Environment is VERY POWERFUL!!!  An environment can either mar or make your dreams; depending on the type of environment you are living.

(Banff: Google images)

Going back to the ancient times, Abraham (Spiritually honourarily known as the Father of all Nations in the Bible) never made it in his current location; even if it was his homeland. It was when he moved out to a new land he created and tasted wealth, success and opulence!! What about the Ascended Master Jesus Christ? He was born in Bethlehem a city in Nazareth. Buju Banton has told us that “rich man’s way is in the city…”

(Montreal: Google images)

See beyond the shores of your horizon! BE DARING! Dare to manifest and be sassy and intrepid enough to step out of your comfort zone. Dreams do not come true in a comfort zone. Forget what the limiting beliefs and negative is telling you. Tell yourself the truth. NO MATTER how bitter, unbelievable, impossible and odd it sounds.


Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird

Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird is a children’s book, published by Christian Faith Publishing, Pennsylvania; USA. Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird was nominated for the 2020 Readers’ Choice Awards. (Side note: I will share the story of how my book got the nomination; keep reading). I love children; hence I purposely wrote this book for the children out there in the world! As a matter of fact, adult and parents can learn something too from Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird.

About Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird

Cindy and Her Beautiful Bird is an exquisite book about Cindy and her loving moments with Amy, her pet bird. This is a story of the intimacy and challenges of a little girl called Cindy and her beautiful songbird, Amy. Cindy’s bird, Amy, affected her positively. It shows how children can be attached with pets once a cordial relationship has been formed. In this story, Cindy showed us that children can have unwavering faith, even if it seemed goofy, unrealistic, and an illusion! Despite all odds about the whereabouts of Cindy’s bird, she kept believing and having faith.

I love children and I believe they are our hope for a better tomorrow, take good care of them and bring them up in the way they should go. —Kingsley Osajie

Children are like wet floors, anything that falls on them leaves an imprint.

—Kingsley Osajie

Every child on earth will love to be a superstar, every boy and girl will love to make it big…hold on to your dreams. —Brenda Fassie

I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way; show them all the beauty they possess inside. —Whitney Houston

“I created a girl child Cindy—who had a beautiful bird called Amy and a brother whose name is Quimby. Cindy, a tender jolly girl whose unquenchable faith in the loss of her bird is remarkable and the relationship between Cindy and her bird is truly refreshing. Cindy and Quimby are my brainchildren. Yes, I love children.” —Kingsley Osajie

There are lots of moral lessons for children to learn from in Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird. It can be used as a bedtime story for children and I can assure you that every child out there will certainly enjoy reading it.

Nomination of Cindy And Her Beautiful for 2020 Readers’ Choice Award

When I began writing Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird I did not set the intention for it to be nominated for the Readers’ Choice Awards. But even as it is nominated it does not make me feel proud and I am certainly not proud of it. After all, it is just a nomination.

In 2011; I published my first book. On my way home from my publishers’ house I was in the car; I picked a newspaper to read and the next thing I saw on the second page was the news of 25 years old Serbian girl who won the Orange Prize for Fiction. Her name is Tea Obreht and the title of her book is Tiger’s Wife. I looked at Tea Obreht holding her Orange Prize Award and I marveled. On top of that, she was going home with £30,000! That was something illustrious, enviable and highly remarkable!

I wrote Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird in 2013 when I was in College. It took me this long to have it published because of the challenges I had (I will share my journey to becoming a published author in my next post). In 2020, Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird was officially born. It was no longer a manuscript; it became a published book. I felt happy seeing it published and holding it as a published book. Now, let me share with you how the nomination for the Readers’ Choice Awards began.

The Universe and the Cosmic Forces are always listening to us. This life is really wonder-full…so on this very fateful day; I was reading about this American singer Chanté Moore. What led me to reading about her was her song I See You In A Different Light featuring JoJo Hailey. (side note: I really love this song; especially where Chante Moore said “When did your kisses get so sweet baby…”). I never knew of this song until I watched a sweet-loving video it was used as a background music. Good, Good Loving! I tell ya!! (LMFAO).

After reading through her Wikipedia I noticed that she had more nominations than ACTUAL Awards. I was like, “damn! Please! Don’t give me any nominations! To hell with nominations! In fact, I refuse to have nominations. What are my doing with nominations? Give me the award. Not nominations.” This was how I said it sarcastically; I was just saying it after reading her Wikipedia. So I continued to make these comments sarcastically. I never knew that what I was refusing would come to me.

Like I said before, the nomination of Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird HUMBLED ME!  It is just a nomination not an actual award. It was a lesson for me that I was not in control. After making those sarcastic comments about the nominations of Chante Moore songs; I went about my day’s activities. Within one month, my book was nominated for Readers Choice Awards.

When I read the congratulatory message from the company I was dumbfounded. At that moment everything I said about Chante Moore started resurfacing. If it was to be a movie; we would see the flashback…and I had a flashback in my own case. I felt so TIRED! Because I did not expect it and the nomination I rejected sarcastically came to me. So it is really a lesson for me.

I was interviewed by Chanel Hardy; founder of Hardy Publications. Read my Author Spotlight Interview of my book Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird


Here are the links to purchase my book:





The Youtube Video of Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird trailer

Reviews for Cindy And Her Beautiful Bird

“This book is a really great book for children. Unlike other books which show us the children happy and playful. It showed that Cindy had an unwavering faith in the quest to find her little bird who went missing. It’s easy to read and short. It was a wonderful read.”  Yinka Odufote, Nigeria

“My son and I read this book. As we read it, he really enjoyed the imagery. He tried to guess what was next, enjoying the surprise as well as how happy the bird made her. From my point of view, it was charming to read about her story. It’s refreshing to encompass the child’s nature so accurately. My son was just as charmed as I was at the cute story and the descriptions were vivid. Wonderful read! I look forward to reading more by this author!” Camille De Mott, USA

“The love for pets.”

“Cindy and her beautiful bird” is certainly a book to remember. It emulates and emphasizes the relationship and connection that can be established between children and pets.” Mariam Owoade, Nigeria


COVID19 and the Ugly Experience of Omah Lay in Uganda

(Omah Lay and Tems, source: Naira Metrics.com)

There was news that circulated the whole Nigeria and Africa in December 2020. It was news of how a Nigerian singer Omah Lay and his fellow singer Tems were arrested in Uganda and maltreated because of Corona Virus. The Ugandan officials said the duo (Omah Lay and Tems) did not follow COVID19 “protocols.” The bitter truth is that COVID19 is NOT in Africa the way it is in other parts of the world; but the GULLIBLE African leaders have made themselves puppets before Europe, USA and other countries of the world—to the extent that “whatever” direction they (the African leaders) are pushed they fall to. Are they really leaders?

Now, I do not usually follow the noise of the media but I remember hearing this information about Omah Lay’s experience in Uganda and how he was arrested in Uganda and treated like a thief because of the so-called COVID19. I was really disappointed by the actions of the Ugandan police. The question now is if it were foreigners (by foreigners I mean for example people from Europe or America; Caucasians) that came to perform in Uganda; would they treat them they way they treated Omah Lay and Tems? If really the Ugandan officials so cared for their citizens why did they not accept the COVID vaccine made by Madagascar? No, because the vaccine is from an African country they will not accept it.

(Omah Lay)

Omah Lay’s song Godly has been buzzing everywhere; so I downloaded it to my phone and listened to the lyrics. I was playing it while I typed this post. It is really touching; I was overwhelmed and enfolded in sobriety. I have been hearing the song but I did not pick interest in it until I went to an errand to the town today and I heard them play it across various places in the town; the lyrics are really touching. You can read the lyrics of Godly by Omah Lay here. Such experience of Omah Lay in Uganda can land someone in depression…I  never thought I would write a post about Omah Lay but his song Godly—born out of his “nightmare” in Uganda actually made me sit down to write this. It is not actually a funny experience—you do not want to be in that kind of reality. Omah Lay has his own side of the story; something which you would love to hear.

My final thought is that I just hope this COVID19 madness comes to an end because we have had enough of pretense and lies from the media, the so-called Nigerian leaders, other world leaders and people who have been “masquerading? COVID19 to perpetuate harm and evil on their fellow humans; the outbreak of this COVID19 revealed A LOT of things to me…!!!


Do You Do New Year Resolutions?

(picture: Google image)

And now…the New Year is here. I have been hearing many people talking about their New Year Resolutions. Right there from the radio people start pouring in their New Year Resolution; what does New Year Resolution mean to you? Do you do New Year Resolutions?

I used to do New Year Resolution but I stopped. Now, do not get me wrong. I am not saying it is bad for us to set intentions or want to achieve some things in our lives. It is perfectly okay but I want to remind you that change starts from the mind. Every moment is a manifestation; what I have grown to learn and understand is that having New Year Resolution makes you attached to your goals and dreams. Manifesting mavens and people who are on their journey to Enlightenment understands that attachment is a repellant energy.

When I first read Buddha say “Attachment is the root cause of suffering.” I dismissed it as just a cliché (Lols). Now I may have never gotten the same level of wisdom and knowledge like the Buddha. But something happened: after some time, I came across the teaching of detachment which I read from Deepak Chopra’s book Seven Laws of Spiritual Success. When I read the Law of Detachment; I was like WOW!!! The Buddha could not have said it any better! Buddha was right after all! I have read This Chopra’s book twice. Detachment is what I am growing more in because Doris Day has told us that Que Sera Sera.

(picture: Google image)

I want to tell you something about manifestation. It is “trickish” and never linear. “Play” with your manifestations and you become enticing to your dreams. In fact your dreams will be the ones chasing after you (side note: I am using the word “play” to mean detachment and levity. When Debbianne DeRose first told me to hold everything with LEVITY I did not quite agree until I realized attachment is against manifesting. Even the talented Nigerian singer Patoranking also advised us in his song Alubarika; he said “don’t take things too serious, just take time to have fun…” I used to be so attached to things and people but now I am handling everything with LEVITY. If you become attached to your dreams you are acting from the place of powerlessness, fear and desperation = repellant and negative energies!

When my life SHIFTED into a POSITIVE MOMENTUM; it had NOTHING to do with New Year Resolution! Let me explain, back then in 2017 I was having many difficulties and hardships—suffice to say that I was just living in rut and cycles; struggling and futility. Then in January 2018, my life took a turn around from the Ethereal… I remind you that the Intangible ALWAYS precedes the Tangible! In my full transparency, I did not make any New Year Resolution.

Later in that fateful January of 2018; I set a very powerful intention (NOT as a New Year Resolution). It came out from my mind as a BURNING DESIRE that something has to CHANGE in my life. The Universe nudged me and I followed up. On that Sunday morning, I lay me down on the bed, alone in the house; then I was inspired to script. I took my pen and paper and made a very powerful scripting; I also scripted for the Angels to show me vivid synchronicity that my requests have been heard and they did because I was enfolded with faith, confidence, mindfulness, happiness and peace that surpassed all understanding! Subliminally ASSURED I was that my requests have been heard!

I did that scripting for 21 days. Once I was done, I let go and forgot about it. This ritual was a GAME-CHANGER for me! Within 60 days my life shifted into a positive momentum; I began to experience abundance, help, healing and joy. Plus my dreams “awakened.”

I got my wealth of knowledge about the Law of Attraction and Manifesting from these four Divas: Sarah Prout, Jeannette Maw, Debbianne DeRose and Nathalie Thompson). Read my article about the Law of Attraction so that you will understand how Law of Attraction and Manifesting works (plus all hidden truths that you were never told in the book called The Secret—a book by Rhonda Byrne. Sadly, even The Secret does not have the “Secret” to Law of Attraction and Manifesting).

Now the thing about these four powerful women is that they recognize God, Angels, Fairy-Elfin-Friends, Spirit Guides, Cosmic Forces, Universe and Higher Power. They believe that WITHOUT these Greater Invisible Energies we CANNOT manifest! And that is TRUE—if you think you have all the power to yourself; you are setting yourself up for frustration and defeat. How do you manifest without the help of the Angels, Universe or the Cosmic Forces? Tell me how! It is so gut-wrenching and disappointing that many so-called Law of Attraction “experts” are now misleading people with wrong knowledge about Law of Attraction and Manifesting.

(Picture: Google image)

The bitter truth is that no matter what, we are not in control. You can write your New Year Resolutions and blah, blah, blah. But you do not have the final say and we are certainly not in full control in creating our realities.

Here is what this amazing Yoga teacher has to say:

“Whatever directions you look at, you NEVER know what’s coming….Our mind wants to know and likes to believe that we can plan our future…The truth we have to HUMBLY accept is, that we can only do and try our best, but the FINAL result of our efforts or desires is NEVER completely in our hands.

We have to SURRENDER our efforts and wishes to the Universe and learn to accept whatever the universe sends us…

We CANNOT determine what will happen but we can believe that anything that happens is exactly what NEEDS to happen in the MAGICAL game of life.

Life just happens. Do not take it personal.

We CANNOT understand logically why bad things happen or why our efforts won’t be rewarded. Some things just don’t make sense to our limited human mind.

If we go beyond the mind through meditation practice we might get a glimpse of the pure energy which underlies all creation and experience how all forms of existence/nature are just playing their assigned part in this divine play we call life…”

Tina Mundelsee, Yoga Coach and Teacher; www.tinastools.com

(Side note: Emphases in Tina’s article are mine)

When I first read this article from Tina Mundelsee I was overwhelmed and enfolded in goosebumps because I knew it was a BITTER TRUTH. I remind you that truth is not always sweet to the ears. Suffice to say that I was HUMBLED!

So, now that the New Year has come; the ideal thing is to hold your dreams in your heart; live with mindfulness, engage in self-care, self-love and get into cahoots with God/Universe, Angels and Cosmic Forces.

I would love to wrap it up with these powerful and overwhelming quotes below:

“We know that our willpower is a powerful force, and we find it hard to believe that there may be other (sometimes greater) energies at play in determining the outcomes of our lives. The idea that we may sometimes be called to surrender our own will to a greater force (or at least loosen our grip on the reigns of control), can conflict with what we believe to be the measure of an empowered person” -Jessi Kohlhagen

“Even when you think you have your life all mapped out, things happen that shape your destiny in ways you might never have imagined.” -Deepak Chopra

I am wishing us a VERY prosperous, illustrious, successful New Year filled with mindfulness and levity

Welcome to 2021

Tightest Hugs and Kisses,

Kingsley Osajie


Monkey For Lunch!

(Monkey: Google image)

This is a story told to me by my grandmother when I was in high school; hence I decided to share with you. I hope you enjoy it.

Long ago, in faraway land in an African village; there lived two men in one hut. One was blind and the other was lame. It was a famine period in the land.

One hot afternoon, these two folks sat together in their hut. Surrounded by the hut were bushes which served as homes to various animals. Shortly, the lame friend saw troop of monkeys in their compound. He imagined monkey soup and salivated relishing in the enjoyment of having monkey for lunch.

“If only I could get this monkey,” he cried.

“Where did you see monkeys?”His lame friend asked

“There are many of them in our compound here. There is even one on a tree staring at us. If I could walk I would shoot a monkey and cook a palatable soup to eat for us.”

The blind friend laughed and said “that would be delicious too. Even me, I am starving.” “There are monkeys outside and right here in our compound. Let us shoot them and cook for lunch.” Persuaded the lame friend.

Convinced, the blind friend said, “You will climb on my shoulders and tell me where to walk and where to stop. I will carry you and the gun to shoot the monkey so that we can cook a good soup for lunch.” The duo was salivating and lip-smacking on how they will eat the monkey.

The lame friend climbed on the shoulder of the blind friend and directed the steps of his blind friend. They came outside where the monkeys were in the cherry tree.

Lame friend fired his gun and a monkey fell. The others fled speedily out of range and sight. They carried the monkey joyfully to their hut. The two friends were filled with joy and happiness. The lame man built set the fire and began to prepare the stew.

As he stirred the pot, the blind friend asked “is the soup ready?”

“Not yet.” Answered the lame friend

All the while, the lame man was cooking the stew and because he was so hungry, lame friend keeps tasting it for flavor. Each time blind man asked, “Is it ready?” The lame friend has just put a large mouthful of hot stew in his mouth and had to swallow hastily to answer his blind friend.

There was nothing left in the pot but bones and a weak soup. This time when the blind friend asked “is it ready?” the lame friend answered “Yes. It is ready.” And he gave his blind friend a plate full of bones and soup.

“What is this you gave to me—bones? You wicked fellow! You have taken advantage of my blindness and eaten all the meat. Did I not share equally with you in the hunting? Should I not then have an equal share to eat?” the blind friend complained with anger.

“Without my legs you would not have shot anything at all.” Answered the lame friend. “I saw the monkey, I shot it. I cooked it. This is the hardest and biggest portion of the work; hence I should get the biggest portion of the food. You used only your physical strength. I used my eyes, my skills as a hunter and talent as a cook. This is certainly more! If I had not first seen the monkeys there would be nothing in the pot at all.” Explained the lame friend.

They disputed and grew very annoyed with each other. Blind went from the house and stood on the road; stopping all passerbies to listen to his account and begging them to judge and punish the lame friend. From the hut, the lame friend shouted his own arguments and begged the people to judge him right. The people were not able to judge.

Now, I want to ask you the same question my grandmother asked me the time she told me this story: among the two friends who do you think is right?


Missing Truth about Law of Attraction and Manifesting

We all have the ability to MANIFEST whatever we desire. The TRUTH is, we CAN create ANY reality for ourselves—either deliberately (consciously) or by allowing (unconsciously). One thing I have grown to learn and understand is this: EVERYONE is practicing Law of Attraction—consciously or unconsciously. Law of Attraction is not reserved for some “special people.” Even before I heard of Law of Attraction I have been manifesting things—my diving deep into Law of Attraction is just a plus! Before now, I used to think that the Law of Attraction “experts” had it all to themselves and that it was all peachy-keen for them! Upon closer inspection, I found out that they too had their own challenges.

The only difference that counts in manifesting is your “tool.” The sharpness of your tool determines the speediness of your manifestations. By tools, I mean your “beliefs, thoughts, attitude, feelings and choices. Those whom we call Law of Attraction “experts” have “sharper tools.” There are those who are not called Law of Attraction experts; but are manifesting maven on their own right; they know how to work the magic of “behind the scene” to get what they want. And I fall into this second category. In truth, NO ONE is excluded from the hiccups of this 3D! Here is what Katy Perry said:

When I am in between records, sometimes I doubt myself. I’ll be like ‘Did I just get lucky, or did I mass-manipulate the world into thinking that seven songs were worth a number-one position?’ And then I go back into the studio and I start writing, and the true essential oil of who I am comes bubbling back up and reminds me that it’s always been inside of me, that nobody can take this away no matter what comment anyone makes.”

—Katy Perry on her confidence as a songwriter

Now, when it comes to manifesting our dreams, we face barriers. Sometimes, it is not all about not having the financial capacity. It could be a barrier from the energetic aspect: beliefs, thoughts and subliminal whatever… We are all from the Stars; and made in the image of God/Source/Almighty of which are Highest Vibrations all-round. Why can’t we always be reflecting and radiating the Higher Vibrations? Why do the gremlins and gargoyles trip us up with unworthiness philosophy, negative thoughts and such when we are on our way to manifest our dreams? Why do we have to contend with the gremlins and gargoyles in order to be in a place of Higher Vibrations which makes it easier for our dreams to manifest? I wonder it. For example, a lion gives birth to a lion and the young lion reflects 100% the characteristics of its source of life without deviating; why then is it hard for us humans who are higher in intelligence than animals not reflect, manifest and radiate vibrations of God/Source/Universe. Sometimes, we battle with self-sabotage and limiting beliefs just because we are aiming to manifest a dream or thinking big to sprout the life we love.

The TRUTH is Source Energy is all-encompassing. It’s the “all-that-is” and so naturally, all must include everything… yes including the gremlins and gargoyles! We are part of Source or the Universe. We are Infinite Spirit Beings, and part of our infinite experience is playing this Earth Game as human beings. A distinguishing characteristic of this Earth Game (as opposed to many of the infinite games or experiences we can and do have as infinite beings) is FREE WILL. As physically incarnated human beings, we have free will to create our reality here.

Naturally, with all this Free Will in the Earth Game, we experience a wide variety of results. Some behaviors we consider to be bad or even horrendous, understandably so. But from the perspective of Source Energy, it’s all part of our growth. When you encounter someone behaving in a way that does not feel loving, how do you respond? It takes a lot of spiritual backbone to respond with love to someone who has strayed far from love. And yet, this is our challenge in this very challenging Earth Game.

Yes, we are all here co-creating together in the same reality sandbox, and yet… each being’s reality is personal to them. It’s a paradox. Embracing paradox is a fantastic skill that allows you feel more peaceful, not pushing for resolution.  Acceptance and Love are higher vibrational states that ripple outward and give other people permission (if they’re wanting it) to choose Love over Fear to manifest whatever their desire is! All we can do is be the ideal versions of ourselves, and by doing so, we can inspire other people who are ready to be inspired. 

About the gremlins and gargoyles within—the negative thoughts, limiting beliefs and such… it’s our entanglement with others, and that’s part of what makes the Earth Game so challenging. All these thought-forms exist, but are not necessarily our own! They are not actually personal to us. They are part of the group-think consciousness. We can embrace each thought as “truth” for us, or let it pass like clouds in the sky. It takes intention and practice to cultivate sufficient awareness of the mind’s contents. The challenging nature of this Earth Game is what makes it so popular! We come here with a sporting attitude, as spirits. Finding your way back to what’s true; to let your true self BE and shine through. 

Our Higher Selves know all about all of this stuff and they’re totally fine with it. Though we suffer greatly while inside the Earth Game, when we leave, it’s just like stepping off a crazy rollercoaster. So the sooner we adopt that laid-back Higher Self attitude, the happier we can be in the Earth Game, right here and right now. If we can view ALL experience through the eyes of Source/Universe, rather than through the filters of human “judgmentality”, then we see only beauty and spiritual expansion, and we experience acceptance and appreciation of all of it. Not that it’s easy to do so 100% of the time. It’s to be expected that we waver and pop in and out of these different perspectives, because that’s part of the game too!

A lot of time, we hear Law of Attraction “experts” tell us “Ask. Believe. Receive,” but I want to let you know that it does not always happen that way! It is really difficult to describe what has to happen in the Etheric Realm first before our dreams can manifest here on earth physically. And I remind you that the Intangible PRECEDES the Tangible! “Everything, every moment is a manifestation of something…”

The art of manifestation of our dreams and desires into reality is Alchemy. It cannot be measured. For example, if someone set their intention and uses a vision board with the necessary vibrational alignment; in the end he manifests his desires. It is the same as someone who sets his intentions and submits the request to the Undines or someone who sets her intention and puts the request to the Gnomes. What matters most is that in the end, they all manifested their desires! Different approach; same result—hence the old saying: “there are many ways to kill a rat. As Ikkyu (the Japanese philosopher) so eloquently puts it: “Many paths lead up the mountain; but at the top, we look at the same bright moon.” The Universe is unlimited! And it can deliver our “goods” in different ways. Whenever you set your intention you MUST always use this affirmation to close it up: “I accept this_____ or something even better.” For instance, you set the intention to buy a Lexus Jeep. Don’t just focus on that Lexus Jeep; close it up with the above phrase. Now, what if the Universe wants to give you a Ferrari? I am sure you certainly will not reject a Ferrari! Even if you don’t have the means. Remember the Universe works in diverse ways. A relative or an uncle in a faraway land could just be nudged by the Universe to shower you some love and he could wake up one morning and say “Ah! My dear cousin let me send him Ferrari! Anything is possible!

If you have set your intention to manifest anything, please DETACH from the outcome. Be grateful for what you have first. Gratitude is attitude. Don’t tell the Universe how it should come! The Universe knows better than you. Desperation, neediness and attachment are REPELLANT energy. You must also remember Divine Timing. As Sarah Prout said, “Manifestation unfolds in PERFECT Divine Timing; everything is in God’s clock.”

When you have set your intentions and your “goods” has not yet arrived, understand these points:

  1. Maybe you are not well aligned vibrationally. That is where the “tools” comes in.
  2. The Universe wants to give you something even better and it is cooking and conspiring it from the Etheric Realm where the magic starts. Remember, if it does not happen in the Higher Realms first, there is NO WAY it can happen here physically
  3. Maybe not yet time. Due to the fact that there are some sorts of resistance preventing you—maybe karma, negative (family) pattern, etc which you must clear so that you can manifest your dreams.

As you go about manifesting your dreams, remember to take inspired action and surrounding yourself with likeminded people who will support you in manifesting your dreams. “A person is a person through another person.” Brenda Fassie. No one has achieved success without the mentoring, support and wisdom of others because it takes a village to raise a child.

The Secret did not cover all the fact about manifesting. I have read it. It only presented Law of Attraction as the be-all-end-all of creating our reality and manifesting our desires. But I am putting it to you that Reality Creation/Manifesting is a two-way thing: you decide what you want to manifest and your Higher Self/God/Universe/Angels decides how and when it should come. Here is what Abraham said (a non-physical entity channeled by Ester Hicks) “You cannot make anything happen. Universal forces have been kept in place for all of that. Your job is to determine what you want.” Now, don’t get it wrong. Abraham is not saying we cannot create our own reality. Rather he is saying that we must co-create with the Universe to have the reality we want. And how will you be able to manifest without the help of the Universe? For you to be able to manifest your desires or sprout the life you love; you must BEFRIEND your Higher Self/Angels/Spirit Guides/Universe/God or whatever name you want to call it. They dwell in the domain of the “how.” The how is where the power is and they KNOW the road more than you do!

(Photo of Magic Lamp: Google image)


MAGA Mantra (“Make America Great Again”)

(Photo: Google image)

Ah! America, the “great” land—I love America. When I was in high school I heard the word “USA” and then I checked they said it is United States of America and I asked myself why did they say United States? I learnt that it was 50 States coming together to “live” as one Country in the Continent of North America. I won two books as prize when I was in high school.  One was a book and the other one was a magazine published by Guidepost. It was through the book and magazine that I began to study about America; as it shared many life stories of American people and how they overcame their personal problems. There I read the names of states in USA. It was really inspiring and wonderful!

Now for 50 States to come together to live as one Country actually sounded great! Is it not something remarkable? It used to be! Yes, you read that right; because for a country like USA where you are killed, punished and maltreated because of your skin colour does NOT represent a great country or a country that is ACTUALLY “united.” Suffice to say that United States is just in words; not in practice; reason being that USA is now the HUB of RACISM! I was sobered and left in sobriety when I read what AOC (Alexandria-Ocasio Cortez) said about America:

“Removing Trump will not remove the infrastructure of an entire party that embraced him; the dark money that funded him; the online radicalization that drummed his army; nor the racism he amplified and reanimated” -Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

(American Flag: Google image)
(MAGA Cap: Google image)

That statement is enough to leave you teary-eyed! RACISM IS A MIND DISEASE. Like the Barbadian-American singer Rihanna rightly said in her song Disturbia. Rihanna says “…a disease of the mind it can control you…”

Yes, racism is actually a MIND DISEASE; it possesses you, controls you. It creeps up inside you subliminally and starts consuming you and like a thief in the night as Rihanna also said in Disturbia

“It’s a thief in the night

To come and grab you.”

It is true, that spell of Racism first of all grabs you. Racism is evil; I am saying this NOT because I am a Black person. It is JUST the FACT (if I was a White person I would say the same thing; I am COCKSURE that there are some very few White people who knows what I am saying is TRUE). I love this song by Rihanna; I played it while typing this post. Well-done Rihanna!

When I first read the make America great again mantra I was like “Great again in what sense”? One American person asked “when was it great”? The bitter truth is that the mantra of “Make America Great Again” is born out of negative ego. I was surprised when I saw one of my American friend who I thought was on a journey to enlightenment and quite not in the way of the consensus use the MAGA Mantra in one of her social media pictures. I was like even this one is still following the crowd; I actually felt disappointed!

Honestly, every country is GREAT on their own right! For example, countries like Israel, China, Japan, Bhutan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Ghana, Namibia, Botswana, Ethiopia, Kenya and Egypt are GREAT on their own right. I love the words of Abby Wynne:

“We are all neighbours because we live on Planet Earth.  We are all human. Instead of focusing on making any country great again, let’s remember the greatness in ourselves, and in others.” Abby Wynne

Whenever I see Donald Trump or any American wearing the “Make America Great Again” (MAGA Mantra) I feel disappointed; but I see them with the eyes of Compassion because they (Americans who wear the “Make America Great Again”) are consumed with the negative ego and it is correct to say that they are under Disturbia and “un-awakened” because “a mind stretched by new knowledge can never go back to its prior form” as said in The Mastery of Life of the Rosicrucians.

The last time I checked, no one race is better or greater than the other. As no skin colour is neither! We are equal; honestly I do not see myself as “less-than” because I am Black; I see myself as a human being with Divine rights, loved unconditionally by God/Goddess, Angels and the Universe.  This is how I see my fellow human beings no matter what skin colour you want to label yourself.

I am a Nigerian and ultimately UNAPOLOGETICALLY BLACK. Someone will want to say that I have not talked about the problems in Nigeria; I am talking about USA. I will also talk about the issues of Nigeria as well but this article does not focus on Nigeria.

The question now is “Make America Great Again,” for who? Is it really for “all” Americans? I DOUBT if the Black Americans are included in this “Make America Great Again” (MAGA Mantra)! Because the narratives in America speak volumes; don’t even get me started with the death of George Floyd and the likes of it (SAD!!!). In the eyes of God, Angels and the Universe we are all equal. Let me ask you, does natural disaster know skin colour? Does sickness or death know skin colour? NO! They affect everyone; animals too do not know skin colour; so why is it humans that are made in God’s image are “knowing” skin colour? The Bible did not say God made White people in God’s image. It said “Man” meaning all humans.

When I watched the victorious video of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris; I marveled! I also congratulated the duo and followed them on their social media handles. Here is the thing—now, when you meet the supporters of Joe Biden they will tell you that Joe Biden is an “Angel” and they will pour out all sorts of errors, criticisms about Donald Trump. If you meet with the fans of Donald Trump; they will tell you that Donald Trump is a Hero with all his “GREAT”-NESS and then they will pour out all the flaws of Joe Biden. The only thing we can do is to watch and see how the American narratives go; as actions will also speak louder than words.

If America wants to be “great” or “great again” America MUST FIRST HEAL from the MIND DISEASE of RACISM! The great Black American singer Michael Jackson has told us to heal the world and it starts with healing ourselves first whether mind disease of racism or any other thing…the ONLY way to make America “great” or “great again” is seeing each other with the eyes of love, understanding and compassion. Not letting the negative ego deceive you with the MAGA Mantra (“Make America Great Again”).


“You Are Not My Church Member”

(Church: Google Image)

I was minding my business one Sunday afternoon when a neigbour told me “Kaycee I am amazed at what happened in the church today.” Curious, I asked “what happened”? (Side note: Kaycee is my nickname. In Nigeria, people whose names are Kingsley are called Kaycee/KC) And then she began to narrate the events:

“Today, as service was going on in the church a woman came to the church. She sat down, after the service she went to meet the Pastor of the church; a woman. After explaining her ordeal to the Pastor, the Pastor asked her which she worships. The woman told her. And the Pastor responded to her “Go and meet your Pastor to solve your problem. You are not my church member. I have worked for many people, once they get solution to their problems; they never come back to my church again.” When my neighbour finished telling me this, I told her: “that Pastor is an end-time Pastor.”

My neighbour started telling me what happened in that particular church. She said, as the “woman of God” was preaching, she was being followed—guarded back and forth as though she may not strike her foot against any stone. Can you guess what she wore? Trouser! Cocooned with negative ego and cockiness she was. “Hmmmm, so you are able to endure those nasty scenes”? If I were you; I would leave immediately. I told my neighbour. “Right there in the church sachet of pure water we buy for N10 were being sold for N50 while a stick of candle we buy for N60 was sold for N100. I was dumbfounded.  “The desperate members were all buying and even borrowing money to buy”! My neighbour said. Nowadays, people no longer go to church to serve God. They go to church to look for “miracles.” To be honest, that is not a true worship!

The last time I checked my Bible, most of the people Jesus healed in the Bible did not become his disciples. Examples: blind Bartimaeus, Jairus daughter, the Syrophoenician woman, the woman with the issue of blood, the ten lepers, the possessed man that was chained in the cave and many others. Jesus’ disciples did not do these things nowadays “men of God” are doing. Are they really men of God? I read a very famous Nigerian pastor say “I am at your service.” https://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2019/12/01/i-am-at-your-service-t-b-joshua-tells-david-lyon/. We all know that most politicians do not follow the right procedure in entering office. How can a “man of God” be at the service of someone who does not have good reputation? A governor whose reputation is not guaranteed—with no example of a good leadership.

The prophets of God in the Bible never asked for a dime from people they healed. For example, Prophet Elisha healed Naaman for free. Jesus’ disciples never demanded for seed before they healed those that came to them or the ones they met. Personally, Jesus is a man I love and respect. His teachings and wisdoms have also contributed to my spiritual awakening and personal development. Yes, his handsomeness alone can dissolve mountains!

Many people who are calling themselves “Men of God” or “Pastors” are not actually doing what Jesus did. If you listen to these modern Pastors they say things like “sowing of seeds,” and such. I begin to wonder, all the people Jesus healed in the Bible he never asked for a dime from them. Why do these nowadays Pastors put a price tag just because they want to pray for their church members?

I left church many years ago; I ran away from Church. I CHOSE Spirituality over Religion. And Jesus said to worship God in spirit and in truth not according to religion or religious denominations). Honestly, I do not know how a quirky, maverick, magical, woo-woo loving, positively rebellious wild child like Kingsley can be tied down with some Religious Doctrines. IMPOSSIBLE!

The most painful part of it is that “Christians” (or let me say churchgoers) have given their power away to a person (Pastor) who they worship. If you go to church today, you will notice that church members worship their Pastors….it is sad that people no longer remember that they are Divine. You will see someone showering gifts to “men of God” with the intention and belief that he or she will be blessed by giving to a “man of God.”

Here is what Morihei Ueshiba said about Religion

“Religion is just show business begotten by the megalomania of its ruling class and created to fleece money from a crowd of stupid (m)asses.”

“Well, why stupid?”

“Because these people become very limited in their knowledge. It is constantly being drummed into their heads that they should listen only to the speeches of their religious leaders, they should read only their literature and stick only to their herd, because all other religions are wrong.”

Sensei I A conversation of Sensei and his students (Sensei I, The Primordial of Shambala)

The TRUTH is, we are all children of God. We are Human +Divine: one with God, Goddess, Angels and Universe. Just because someone wears a suit and carries himself/herself with a so-called piety of “holier than thou” does not mean they are better than you. God can use anybody to carry out His will. God used a prostitute to rescue the Israelite men when the wall of Jericho was to be destroyed. Her name is Rahab (Joshua 2:7)


(Mosque: Google images)

There are many religions in the world today. The most common one is the Christian religion and Islamic religion. In Africa, we have the African Traditional Religion; before I mention the other types of religions let me explain to you what African Traditional Religion is because I am African. I am from Delta State, Nigeria (though I “transcend” Africa)

African religion which is the African Traditional Religion believes in the worship of God through the divinities (gods and goddesses), spirits and the cults of the ancestors. Africans regard God (Supreme Being) as the creator, who is above the divinities, spirits, ancestors and human beings. Ancestral worship is also a feature of African Traditional Religion. (I got this information from my College notebook and handout on Social Studies; Course Code: SOS 323, Course Title: Religion in Society).

The other types of religions are: Hinduism, Shintoism, Jainism, Confucianism, Taoism, Judaism, Zoroastrianism, Sikhism etc (this is not an exhaustive list; but I do not have to mention all the names of the religion. I don’t really see Buddhism as a religion that is why I did not add it. Buddhism; the way I see it personally, is a way of life that teaches you meditation, enlightenment; helps you embrace and live from your Higher Self).

Why has religion become another method of colonialism and brainwashing? Why are there so many chaos, disunity and religious intolerance in the world? It is so disappointing that religion has nose-dived—with so many questionable things going on with religious leaders and their members…

I will answer by quoting the wise words of Steven Weinberg:

“With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil – that takes religion.” Steven Weinberg

Religion has been something people used to look up to or should look up to; but reverse is the case today as Morihei Ueshiba so eloquently and wisely puts it:

“Religion is just show business begotten by the megalomania of its ruling class and created to fleece money from a crowd of stupid (m)asses.”

“Well, why stupid?”

“Because these people become very limited in their knowledge. It is constantly being drummed into their heads that they should listen only to the speeches of their religious leaders, they should read only their literature and stick only to their herd, because all other religions are wrong.”

Sensei I A conversation of Sensei and his students

(Sensei I, The Primordial of Shambala)

I really agree with these two wise men. But I am not surprised because Jesus Christ himself has said it that we must serve God in Spirit and in Truth. Not according to any religious denominations. Where is the fault coming from? Is it from the religions or the religious leaders? The fault comes from both because religion is manmade. Whether you believe it or not; Spirituality is the best option and there is a difference between Spirituality and religion. Spirituality is your personal relationship with God/Goddess/Angels/Cosmic Forces/Universe. When likeminded spiritual people gather together; there is always a manifestation of something colossal.

In Nigeria for example, we have had many, many issues of religious intolerance from the Muslims in Nigeria. Killing and bombing of churches and Christians has been like a norm by the Muslims.

Nigeria has the highest population of churches in the world!!! Every day “men of God” are sprouting from every nook and crannies in Nigeria—all of which are born out of unemployment and poverty!!! There are so many false beliefs and dare I call them limiting beliefs!!! For example, you hear pastors tell their members—let me quote them (the pastors) “the louder your amen the louder your miracles,” “if you shout amen well God will give you double miracle,” “if you know you are going to buy a car this week, jump up and shout a big hallelujah.” The question now is, are any of such instructions written in the Bible? Pastors cajole their members to even sow a seed with their properties. For example, one pastor asked a member cajoled a member to use his brand new car to sow a seed for God—unbeknownst to the innocent member that the pastor was jealous of the new car and wanted to have it. The innocent member docilely submitted his car keys to the Pastor. When he got home, his siblings asked him about his car and he narrated his encounter to them. Furious, they landed the pastor’s residence with speed—demanding for the car key. When the pastor saw the tiger eyes of the siblings of the man who were already boiling with anger; he quickly submitted the car key to them. This is what a man of God in Nigeria said about COVID19

“We can preach a better sermon with our lives than with our lips.” Oliver Goldsmith

(Church: Google images)

Even among the Christians there is division, brouhaha and disharmony!! For example, the Christendom churches teach us the belief in Hellfire and Heaven; that when you die you go to Hellfire if you are sinner and if you are righteous you go to Heaven and the Jehovah’s Witnesses teaches us that there is no Hellfire and no going to Heaven—whether you are righteous or not. Which one do we believe? But it is up to you to make your research on the Bible and see for yourself. I am a former Jehovah’s Witness and I will share with you my journey to becoming a Witness, how and when I left the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I will also share some real life stories from former Jehovah Witnesses. In my previous post, I talked about the church

How about the Deeper Life Christians who have brainwashed and colonized their members that wearing earrings, wristwatches, necklaces, bangles, jewelries and dressing fashionably is a “SIN”!! The Deeper Life people claim that it is a SIN to put on cosmetics. They “comfort” themselves and hold TIGHTLY to that story in the Old Testament where Aaron took the jewelries from the Israelites and used it to make a golden calf for the Israelites when Moses was yet to come back from Mountain Horeb from whence he got the Tablet containing the Ten Commandments from God. (Side not: get a Bible and do your research about this story in the Bible—I do not have to spoon-feed you; you have got this. I am being sarcastic right? LOLS.

The last time I checked; Jesus Christ came according to the Bible to redeem humanity from “sin” including the “so-called sin” of the “golden calf” of the Old Testament. In truth, the event of the “golden calf” was just for the Israelites of the ancient times—all of which has been redeemed and exonerated from. When Queen Esther was going to visit King Ahasuerus in his inner chamber; the Bible said Queen Esther dressed beautifully (that includes applying cosmetics and jewelries and keep in mind that as a Queen; Esther wears her Crown. The Crown is part of jewelry).

Now, why has the Deeper Life Christians refuse to see the use of cosmetics and jewelries from Queen Esther’s perspective and story? By the way, who created the jewelries and the cosmetics? You can see that there is a division and disharmony with the Bible and Deeper Life Christians. God has given everything he created to human beings for their own use and benefits. But religion has put “confusion.” Don’t even get me started with the Christ Embassy. Let me share with you a personal experience I had with the Christ Embassy.

When I was in college, a course mate invited me to their program. I did not want to go but I reluctantly agreed. When I got to the church; I noticed that the Christ Embassy members who were invited to lead the program were more carnal than people I knew to be carnal!!! They dressed in a very showy and indecent way; do I say they were been carried away with youthful exuberance? NO! Why? Because the ones who climbed the pulpit to preach the sermon did not use a bible nor read out from the bible—rather they have to show us that they have Ipads by putting it on the pulpit and tapping the screen often and often in the name of quoting a verse from the Bible. I looked at them and I was like; indeed, “we can preach a better sermon with our lives than with our lips.” Oliver Goldsmith said this. How about the girl who came to the pulpit to sing a “special number” for God and she sang the song of Mariah Carey on the pulpit? She sang Mariah Carey’s I give my all. I was like what? In the church? You have got to be fucking kidding me!! That was a song Mariah Carey sang for her boyfriend!! A romantic song—when I heard her sing that song I was like I think I have had enough. By the way, she was blowing a chewing gum and what about her dressing? It preaches carnality about her!!

The most sickening thing about the religious leaders is that while they sap and extort money from their members to live in opulence; their members whom they are colonizing and have brainwashed live in poverty. How do I mean by extorting money from their members? In churches today giving tithes and offerings is the mainstay of their activities. Members have tithing cards where they put their “one-tenth” plus other offerings collected under different names. Folks, neighbours and churchgoers say that one who does not have money cannot go to church because if you do not give offerings you will become a detestable thing to the pastor and other members. Also in churches you hear things as sowing of seeds; for those believing a miracle from God and whatever. This sowing of seed is another way members are been sapped of their income by the church leaders.

Now let us go to the Catholics. The bible says that every human being is a sinner but the Catholics do not see it that way. They have their own doctrine: in the catechism the Catholics says that the Pope is infallible and that the Pope cannot err. I teach in a catholic school; even the Reverend Sisters and Fathers who carry themselves in so-called piety and holier than thou are not what you see…whenever I am teaching my pupils the Catechism I do not read the verse that says the Pope is infallible because I just cannot read it. So I will ask one of my pupils to read that verse. Is the Pope not a human being? Or is it because he wears a robe and they call him Pope that makes him infallible? According to the Catholics, it means that the Pope is not among those that Jesus Christ has died for because the Pope is above sin. But is it really true?

The Catechism of the Catholic is the copy above and below
The Catechism of the Catholic

Being A Jehovah’s Witness, Leaving Jehovah’s Witness: Embracing Spirituality and Life

I myself was colonized and brainwashed by religion before I broke out from the herd! Breaking out was not easy but the effort was worth it!

Before I became a Jehovah’s Witness, I attended Baptist Church. But I did not feel like I belonged there because I did not join any group. I was just observing them. On my own, I questioned some of the teachings and activities. It did not really resonate with me at all. Subsequently, I withdrew from the Baptist Church. After some time, I met the Jehovah’s Witness.

This is my personal story of how I became a Jehovah’s Witness, why I left and when I left the Jehovah’s Witness. I began associating with the Jehovah’s Witness in 2006. They used to come and preach to me at home and study with me with their books; from there I became “converted” as a Jehovah’s Witness. I was baptized at the Assembly Hall in Agbor in 2008. At first, it made sense to me; but something happened: I realized that the Jehovah’s Witnesses were not very spiritual. I had only head knowledge of the Bible—without being spiritually enlightened and empowered. In time, I became curious about life, spirituality and the universe. But the teachings I was getting as a Jehovah’s Witness did not answer the questions I was seeking answers to. I began to feel like I was caged and repressed because I intuitively began to perceive that life was beyond the five senses. I began to have the inner-knowing that there are greater invisible energies at play in determining the outcome of our lives…Plus I have always intuitively known that life is magical and the concept of miracle was very appealing to me. But the Jehovah’s Witnesses are very skeptical about these concepts.

My copy of the Watchtower when I was a Jehovah’s Witness

Another thing that got me tired about the Jehovah’s Witnesses is that they believe that they are the only true religion that all other religions or spiritual paths were bad. The Jehovah’s Witnesses have Donald Trump mentality; because they have this BELIEF that they are superior to other religion and are better than (I am talking from experience I have been there).

As my quest and yearning for spirituality heightened I began exploring metaphysics and spirituality. One of my relative have always told me that I would be BETTER OFF not being a Jehovah’s Witness. Plus someone else asked me what church I attended way back in 2010 and I told him I was a Jehovah’s Witness. He told me “You DO NOT belong there…” but I took him for a joke! Three years later, I left Jehovah’s Witness.

I left Jehovah’s Witness in October 2013. I personally ditched my preaching bag in the garbage confidently and with mindfulness. I knew I could no longer continue with the Jehovah’s Witnesses because I was just a “powerless” and “ignorant” Christian. From then on in 2013, I began exploring spirituality and metaphysics. I left Jehovah’s Witness on my own personal volition. It was very abrupt because the elders, brothers and sisters in the Kingdom Hall no longer saw me in meetings. I just disappeared. They actually called me severally on phone asking my reasons for them not seeing me in meetings again.

One day I met one of the elders on the road and he began to ask me why I do not come to meetings again that they were missing me. I told him it was my personal decision to stop coming to the Kingdom Hall. He was surprised to hear me say that. Honestly, I did not want to go into the discussion and debate with him about the teachings of the Jehovah’s Witness because that can give him another opportunity to start brainwashing and colonizing me and I do not want that because I have had enough of it!! I just told him that I will come back if I want. But I knew I was NOT going to come back.

Leaving Jehovah’s Witness and embracing spirituality was the best choice I ever made. At the time I have not left the Jehovah’s Witness; it manifested in form of depression, psychosomatic problems, mental stress, insomnia and floundering mental bewilderment. Why? Because I was been repressed! I was not living a life of my dreams neither was I shining my light nor unlocking all of my potentials. As a Jehovah’s Witness you are not allowed to read other spiritual books.  They say it will contaminate you! But is that not a way of colonizing and brainwashing you so that you don’t expand your consciousness? It was when I summoned enough courage that I decided I have to leave the Jehovah’s Witness—I still remember that fateful Sunday when I mindfully and confidently ditched my preaching bag in the garbage when I was in college.

I took my power back, stopped being colonized, indoctrinated and brainwashed and really began to have a better understanding of life, the universe and I began to get a deeper connection with God, Angels and the Universe. From childhood I have always been interested and fascinated by things woo-woo, metaphysics and spirituality. For example, when I was in secondary school; my English teacher spotted me out among my classmate and he became very close to me. During break time we would sit on the verandah and he would tell me about people like Albert Einstein, Shakespeare, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Indira Gandhi, Queen Elizabeth, Orville & Wilbur Wright, Martin Luther King, Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Archimedes etc he brings a Rosicrucian magazine to school and shows me some pages from it. But he would not let me take the magazine home. My secondary school English teacher was tall, ebony and slim. Suffice to say that he is a good teacher and a competent one! His name is Elueme.

When I entered college, I met a guy who was in the same department. To my surprise, he was a Rosicrucian!! One day, I saw him reading a Rosicrucian magazine during break time. I slide into his seat and shared with him; after I asked him to give me to read and he willingly gave to me. We became very close and good friend. We would talk about things woo-woo, metaphysics, spirituality and life in general.

Subsequently, he invited me to their Rosicrucian meeting. I loved what I saw there because the mojo and camaraderie was really refreshing, uplifting and interesting. I learnt many things there! Things I resonated with and love! They talked about spirituality. It was one of the beautiful small booklet and pamphlet I was given in their meeting that SPARKED my curiosity and interest in spirituality further!!

When I got to the hostel, I started reading the little booklet and pamphlet I was given. It was a cold evening; so I lighted my candle and was reading it with a great mindfulness and zeal. Guess what, I noticed something: my Intuition began to heighten and I began to notice a shift and expansion in my Consciousness; I KID YOU NOT!!! It was from the little booklet I learnt that “a mind stretched by new knowledge can never go back to its prior form.” The little booklet is called The Mastery of Life. There was a new awareness in me that began spiraling. I began to perceive an awakening in me! A spiritual one!  This happened in 2015 when I was in my final year in college. From that time on, I started exploring Law of Attraction New Thought and spirituality in general. That same 2015, a professor gave me a book called Beyond Birth and Death by A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada; which also expanded my consciousness.

Another book that has HELPED me to embrace spirituality, enlightenment, take my power back fully and propelled my spiritual awakening completely is a book titled An Awakening: Mapping Your Dream by Suzanne Hosang. This book was ACTUALLY what PAVED the way for me to start manifesting my dreams by first of all “awakening me,” healing me and laying the foundation for me to start embracing spirituality and my Higher Self. It reminded me that I am Divine; loved unconditionally by God, Goddess, Angels and the Universe.

An Awakening: Mapping Your Dream; the book that helped me to break free and step into a Positive Life Momentum

This book also reminded me and taught me to befriend my Spirit Guides, Angel, God and Higher Self because they know the road more than I do! I call this book a Pearl because it was what paved the way for me to be in a positive life momentum. I want to thank the amazing and one in a million Suzanne Hosang for writing this book; a book which was channeled from the Realms of Light: enlightening, empowering, liberating and inspiring it is. I was at MY WITS END when I came across Suzanne’s book and it changed my life forever!! I did not know how my dreams would come true; I was lost, held bound and down by my own shame, pain and troubles. But with the help of Suzanne’s book I was able to break free from those shackles that have once held me down and bound! That was when my awakening began; the awakening of my dream and liberation from the negative energies and shackles that attempted to muzzle me.

I have grown to realize that the Universe does listen. Now, before I read Suzanne’s book; I have tried everything I could but no solution. Then I secretly made a note that I was going to commit suicide if no solution came. I do not want to go into the details of what I have been through in the past. I will write about that next time. No one was aware of the intentions I had. And I meant it. With something that I will call a synchronicity; I came across Suzanne’s book after some weeks. That was when my healing and awakening began in 2018.

Suzanne is one in a million and a Goddess on her own right! She is an Earth Angel. I call her Kwan Yin personified; and that is what she is because she is a manifestation of Kwan Yin. Suzanne embodies Compassion in its truest form. Suffice to say that I am a Child of Kwan Yin and a Child of God because Kwan Yin and God are HARMONIOUS. I know what I am talking about. I am forever grateful to Kwan Yin and Suzanne.

Kwan Yin (Goddess of Compassion)

My happiness and gratitude is that, many people are now taking their power back, getting “independence” and breaking free from the “colonialism” and brainwashing of religion!!! Here is also another story of a dear Canadian friend of mine who is a former Jehovah’s Witness. Her name is Tricia Schinkel; she is now a spiritual teacher helping people embrace spirituality. I never knew that Tricia was a former Jehovah’s Witness. I was just sharing with her when to my utmost surprise she told me that she was a former Jehovah’s Witness too!!! I am so happy to know Tricia. I am so surprised and dumbfounded with the way the Universe works out things!!

When I first began thinking of writing this blogpost; I thought of Tricia and decided to write her if she would be interested in sharing her own story of being a Jehovah’s Witness and leaving Jehovah’s Witness with the world and here is a response I got from her. I was really dumbfounded!!!! Tricia is WELL connected to Buddha as I am WELL connected to Kwan Yin; what a colossal combination!!

“You know what is flipping crazy now that I think it…?  I had a dream last night that I was at the old Kingdom Hall, and my mom’s best friend (has since passed) called me up to ask me if I wanted to go door to door with her. I didn’t really want to go, but because it’s been so long since I saw her I agreed to it, but when I wanted to leave to go see her, my vehicle wouldn’t start and I couldn’t make it to see her. So I ended up going back home to my parents’ house. And then you ask me today to write my JW story to share with the world! Doesn’t that kinda blow your mind!?!”

I am sure you will enjoy reading Tricia’s story which I am sharing below.

My Jehovah Witness Story by Tricia Schinkel

It has been so long now, since I have left the religion, but it has definitely impacted my life in many ways. I left the region when I was 12 years old. By some stroke of luck, the universe opened another path for me at that time. The beliefs that were taught, was always something I didn’t completely agree with. Most of the principles are good to have, be kind to your neighbour and so forth. But the fear that they tried to control us with I saw right through.

My family was always looked down upon by the elders of the congregation. My parents suffered with deep depression and did the best that they could do, but they just couldn’t ever do anything good enough in the congregation’s eyes. My parents had 5 kids and I am the baby, by the time I was old enough to understand what was going on all my older brothers and sisters were all in their teens and left the congregation. My brothers and sisters were all rebelling, going out to bars, drinking to hide their pain of their parents not giving them the love that they feel they deserve. I saw this and accepted this path as my own too. The hardest part for me was the disassociation and separation from the rest of the “world” that was imposed upon me.

I didn’t understand why!?!

I didn’t ever get, why I couldn’t be friends with these people I was trained to preach the truth to, it just didn’t make any sense! I have always been drawn to, spirituality, metaphysics, Buddha and all things that would get me banned from this religion that my parents grasped to so tightly. So I would look from a distance so that I don’t upset them.

Shutting out my own curiosity shut out parts of my soul yearning to be expressed. It eventually became so intolerable. Not being able to celebrate my birthday was one thing that really didn’t make any sense to me, because we would celebrate babies being born with showers with everyone from the congregation invited, as well as anniversary parties, but birthday parties are a no go!??

I never agreed with this.

On my 33rd birthday I had a really hard time with celebrating my birthday for some reason. Which was weird because I have celebrated all my birthdays since leaving the religion with no regrets. But for some reason this particular year, the pain that I didn’t realize I had, needed to be seen! When I dug deep into the tears that I cried in that day I found it was the reverberation of the beliefs that were instilled in me when I was very young.

Those tears were from all the guilt that I secretly built up from each and every birthday that I celebrated knowing that my parents would suffer the repercussions from the elders of the congregation if they found out that I was doing such “worldly” things!

It was such a sick and twisted thing really. The religion has also ripped my own family apart as you can imagine. Some of my cousins have been disfellowshipped and cut off from the other part of my family, and because I never chose to get baptized I was lucky enough not to be shunned that way. I could still talk to both sides without anyone feeling shameful for being an outcast. I was the bridge to connect both sides. But I hated being in the middle.

I invited these cousins to my wedding, and when my father found out that I did, he told my sister that he could not attend my wedding to walk me down the aisle because he could not be in the presence of these cousins who were shunned form the religion.

This was NOT ok with me or my sisters.  I was crushed, hurt and felt betrayed by my father, because he was so brainwashed by the religion and its teachings that he couldn’t see the truth of how much pain it was causing. It took some real hard conversations and truth telling to my father for him to Come around and walk me down the aisle to give me away on my wedding day.

Leaving the religion was easy the easy part. But having the religion leave me was another thing. The stain it left on my life was really hard to bear for a long time. The manipulation, the twisted views, and the fear that was used to control those in the congregation I could never agree with. But regardless of how it made me feel at the time, what I have learnt from this whole experience is that I am stronger than I ever thought I was. What I also learn is that I am more resistant than I ever thought I was.

I thank my experience for showing me what it is to be in a community, and I am now learning how to release all of my pain that was created from having this experience. Now that I have found my own spirituality I am now closer to God than I ever have been before.

I finally know the true meaning of “finding God”. I now live my life the way that I want, no longer compromising my soul urges for other’s judgments.

I also teach others how to take back control of their lives and begin living with more integrity and purpose than ever before, and it feel so good to be serving in this way. I have found my happiness, and I am now living my purpose and helping other to do the same.

So in the end I thank the Jehovah Witness religion for all the pain that it created in my life, for it is from this pain that this Phoenix has risen and now I fly higher than ever thought possible, and I know you can too!

I send you so much love and light, and may you find your own happiness and purpose in your life from all the pain that you have endured!

Below is the life story of a former Jehovah’s Witness; her name is Amber Scorah. She is the author of the book Leaving the Witness: Exiting a Religion and Finding a Life I am correct to say that she left Jehovah’s Witness and found Life and Light. The story of Amber Scorah and many others are clear confirmations that; INDEED religion is NOT the answer!!! I have been there. I know what I am talking about. I am a former Jehovah’s Witness too (baptized and zealous). Read on and see for yourself. Scorah’s story is one which is really gut-wrenching, inspiring, enlightening and uplifting. I have read Scorah’s stories severally and I decided to share with you.

I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness. When I left the faith, my family and community shunned me – by Amber Scorah

My mother has no idea where I am, whether I am alive, or sick, or sad, or happy. My daughter has never met her aunt or her cousins. My best friends feel I have betrayed them–a Satan, of sorts. This is because I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. I was baptized into the faith at 14, and later, as an adult, did not believe it was “the Truth” anymore.

When I pleaded with my sister after I left the religion, vainly trying to help her see, through her indoctrination, that we could still be family – that I was no different than the sister she had always had, minus a few beliefs – she pointed out, curtly, “The position you are in is because you have put yourself there, not me.”

How could this be, when I was the one who was begging for the relationship? It is because I have been shunned. I left, I was no longer able to believe and I am now “apostate.” Apostates in my religion are referred to with the following descriptors: mentally diseased, depraved, a dog that has returned to its own vomit, lower than a snake, poisoned, like gangrene that needs to be amputated.

In reality, I am the same person they loved, spent time with, enjoyed, argued with, laughed with – minus the belief. I have my mental faculties, I don’t sin much more than the odd curse word, I am a mom with a pretty regular life. Really, I am not much different than the person they knew before. When you leave a cult, you shed its belief system and, if anything, you are more yourself than ever. Maybe that’s the problem.

These are good people. These are people who love me. I know that they do. But if they saw me, they’d cross the street to avoid me. Nobel Prize winner Steven Weinberg once said that With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil – that takes religion.

At the age of 30, I was still a believer and had moved to Shanghai to be a missionary, what we called a “pioneer,” because the world had not yet ended, as had been predicted by our leaders, and it was incumbent on me to preach, to save these people in a country where my religion was illegal, and therefore largely unknown.

It was in China, preaching underground, that I began to suspect I had been brainwashed. My indoctrination had happened slowly over a childhood interspersed with terrors of the violent end of the world I heard about at our meetings in the Kingdom Hall. I learned there that the world was evil, and that our religion was where you stayed safe.

You can read the full story of Amber Scorah here

Congratulations to those who have been able to break out from the religious herd and embrace spirituality, all those who were brave enough to take back their power and set themselves free from the brainwashing and colonialism of religion. For those who have not, I hope that this stories inspires you to do so so for your own good.

Until next time,

Stay Empowered and Mindful


Kingsley Osajie

What is Happiness?

Most people spend time seeking happiness in one way or the other. However, it is an extraordinary fact that we often look for it in the wrong places. One person may think that happiness can be found in making lots of money. Yet we all know that; although we would not turn down the chance of making a lot of money; it is not necessary the case that money will make us happy. The old proverb says “money cannot buy you love.” And yes, it cannot buy you happiness either.

Others seek happiness through their career: single-mindedly they pursue every opportunity of furthering their career until they find that they are in oblivion and fantasy…those who are obsessed with work cut themselves off from the world that most of their fellow humans occupy so that they lose the capacity to communicate in a normal manner. This always creates a reality of being socially maladjusted. Thus making them to create a reality of being sick and depressed through exhaustion and overworking. Furthermore, their relationship with their dearest and nearest ones suffer; sometimes terminally.

Psychologists and health experts indicate that a good balance between enjoyable leisure and satisfying work is essential prerequisite for happiness. As the famous proverb said “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

However, while balance is necessary, it is not sufficient. Neither work nor play can satisfy without fulfilling relationships. It follows, therefore that those who are most likely to succeed in finding happiness are those who also manage to build up a wide range of satisfying relationships of all kinds: family, friends and even those they meet causally. Paradoxically, such relationships are most likely to bring happiness if one’s motivation is to give happiness rather than to acquire it.

You can be living in a modest apartment and yet very happy. On the other hand you can be living in a mansion but you are not happy. One day I was walking down the street and an acquaintance called me and I had to walk down to go and greet him. But I noticed something; there was a man who was living in a teeny-tiny room with his wife and four children. The man and his family were eating eba with soup and they were eating together happily.

Eba is carbohydrate food made from cassava; it is a staple food in Nigeria. It is usually like flour. It can be soaked as garri; garri is the flour of it that has been dried and powdery. Eba is made by boiling hot water and pouring the garri into the hot water to become solidified. After which you use your spatula to turn it for concentration. Once it has been concentrated you can now swallow it with any soup of your choice (egusi, okro soup, vegetable soup, draw soup, banga soup etc) 

When I greeted them I could see happiness and fulfillment in them; because from the aura they exuded it shows that they are living peacefully and cooperatively. They were content with what they have. Not everyone has this kind of mindset. When you compare yourself to others you set yourself up for self-destruction and suffering because everyone is on their own unique journey.

The term happiness is used in the context of mental or emotional states, including positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.[1] It is also used in the context of life satisfactionsubjective well-beingeudaimonia, flourishing and well-being. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happiness

What Is Happiness?

Happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction. 

When most people talk about happiness, they might be talking about how they feel in the present moment, or they might be referring to a more general sense of how they feel about life overall.

Because happiness tends to be such a broadly defined term, psychologists and other social scientists typically use the term ‘subjective well-being’ when they talk about this emotional state. Just as it sounds, subjective well-being tends to focus on an individual’s overall personal feelings about their life in the present. Two key components of happiness (or subjective well-being) are:

  • The balance of emotions: Everyone experiences both positive and negative emotions, feelings, and moods. Happiness is generally linked to experiencing more positive feelings than negative.
  • Life satisfaction: This relates to how satisfied you feel with different areas of your life including your relationships, work, achievements, and other things that you consider important.

How to Know If You’re Happy

While perceptions of happiness may be different from one person to the next, there are some key signs that psychologists look for when measuring and assessing happiness.

Some key signs of happiness include:

  • Feeling like you are living the life you wanted
  • Feeling that the conditions of your life are good
  • Feeing that you have accomplished (or will accomplish) what you want in life
  • Feeling satisfied with your life
  • Feeling positive more than negative

One important thing to remember is that happiness isn’t a state of constant euphoria. Instead, happiness is an overall sense of experiencing more positive emotions than negative ones.

Happy people still feel the whole range of human emotions—anger, frustration, boredom, loneliness, and even sadness—from time to time. But even when faced with discomfort, they have an underlying sense of optimism that things will get better, that they can deal with what is happening, and that they will be able to feel happy again

Types of Happiness

There are many different ways of thinking about happiness. For example, the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle made a distinction between two different kinds of happiness: hedonia and eudaimonia.

  • Hedonia: Hedonic happiness is derived from pleasure. It is most often associated with doing what feels good, self-care, fulfilling desires, experiencing enjoyment, and feeling a sense of satisfaction.
  • Eudaimonia: This type of happinessis derived from seeking virtue and meaning. Important components of eudaimonic well-being including feeling that your life has meaning, value, and purpose. It is associated more with fulfilling responsibilities, investing in long-term goals, concern for the welfare of other people, and living up to personal ideals.

Hedonia and eudemonia are more commonly known today in psychology as pleasure and meaning, respectively. More recently, psychologists have suggested the addition of the third component that relates to engagement. These are feelings of commitment and participation in different areas of life.

Research suggests that happy people tend to rank pretty high on eudaimonic life satisfaction and better than average on their hedonic life satisfaction.1 

All of these can play an important role in the overall experience of happiness, although the relative value of each can be highly subjective. Some activities may be both pleasurable and meaningful, while others might skew more one way or the other.

For example, volunteering for a cause you believe in might be more meaningful than pleasurable. Watching your favorite tv show, on the other hand, might rank lower in meaning and higher on pleasure.2

Some types of happiness that may fall under these three main categories include:

  • Joy: A often relatively brief feeling that is felt in the present moment
  • Excitement: A happy feeling that involves looking forward to something with positive anticipation
  • Gratitude: A positive emotion that involves being thankful and appreciative
  • Pride: A feeling of satisfaction in something that you have accomplished
  • Optimism: This is a way of looking at life with a positive, upbeat outlook
  • Contentment: This type of happiness involves a sense of satisfaction


(Photos: Google images)

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